Last night I was on a hot quick three mile jog and was struggling through the hot miles and my sore muscles from Saturday's long run. Here I am again attempting to train for another marathon.
I came across my old marathon training vlogs and think I am going to try and make those again, even though I am already 4 weeks in. This time I feel like I am in some sort of delusional fog about it. Maybe it's because I have done it before, I actually know that my body can travel such distance.
Those last 6 miles were killer for me, I definitely "hit the wall" but I got across that finish line.
Here is the thing, I am totally training this time on faith, one run at a time. I know there are runners of all shapes and sizes, but sometimes as I am running I feel like I am an unlikely candidate to be a marathoner.
Only 6 months ago I was recovering from two dislocated knees that had me even unable to take care of my kids, and even though I had lost quite a bit since having my son last August I am still quite a bit over where I would like to be. Regardless it's a lot of weight to lug around on long runs and a bum knee.
On one of my first weeks on a short run my knee was killing me, the same day I decided to step out in faith and sign up for and PAY for the marathon on Aug 17. I was having strong doubts that my knee would make it that day, but I just told the Lord that I would trust Him one run at a time.
This is one thing He has been showing me, that we only have this day we are in. Why worry and stress in how we are going to get to three months from now, that bridge will come in time. This is the same for running. How am I going to run 20 miles in several weeks? I don't know, but I don't have to run 20 miles today. Today it may be 3, or 5, seemingly insignificant in comparison, but many times its the insignificant things that get you to the super significant. The day in and day out.
The thing is, it is harder some days more than others. Somedays I feel amazing and fast, others day I feel like I have to tell my body "listen I am the one in charge here." And I guess this is one of the many reasons training for a marathon is such a picture of me that parallels my faith. It is such a big feat that the idea paralyzes most people, surely my body couldn't do that. But that is faith, "being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see". I don't see myself as that "runner" girl, and yet I have run on and off for four years. What I like about it is that I am unlikely, that I have something inside me that others may not recognize, that on most days, I don't recognize and it's this really tangible way to see it.
Believing again for that next run when you were hurting pretty bad from the last one, and then having an amazing run. That fight, that spirit inside that says, "I am going to try again".
So much like life, I may not look the part, I may not be the best, or fastest, but I am here, I am alive, and I am going to give everything I have to do something because through Christ, all things are possible. It's not so much about all that, it's about making it through something you weren't sure was possible, and your faith is another muscle fatigued stronger that next time.