Posts tagged 2015
2015 Review/Goal Setting
2015, wow where do I start with this year? I would say it started off full of hope and possibilities, which is a good place to start. We were still living with my parents in Denver and Daniel had his temp job at United, which he was so enjoying but was quickly going to be coming to an end. We knew things needed to change, and we went into the 40 days up until Easter really wanting to seek the Lord.

For 40 days we fasted up until dinner and we prayed for our specific needs. For me it was focused on three things really, for direction for our family and open doors, for my brother and sister-in-laws marriage which was in some trouble, and for my constant battle with my weight. {you can read some of that story HERE}
I was convinced that by Easter Daniel would have a new job, that God would hear our prayers and honor our fasting and provide, that my brother and SIL would be happy and that I would drop all the necessary "extra baggage" I had with ease. Things never go quite as fast as I would like them to. In fact I have found that things often seem to go backwards sometimes before they go forwards or make progress.

As I am given easily to complaining about my life, the Lord continually convicts me about that and that in fact the way forward is through praising and believing. As I glance over the posts I did manage to write this past year it's the same messages He is still whispering to me now. Hang on and BELIEVE. 

As time passed there were no easy answers, but I can say without hesitation that God has answered all our prayers that we fasted over. Ending up in Chico, CA with no job but a place of our own again. Getting down to the bare minimum and watching God come through in amazing ways. If you would like to read about those first few months you can check out this and this post. God has provided a great job for Daniel and he has learned a lot already in the 6 months he has been there and is getting great recognition for the job he has been doing.


It's not my story to tell, but I will say that my brother and sister-in-law were brought back from the brink of divorce and are doing so well now, and I am so thankful for what the Lord has done in and for them. 




And since moving to Chico I have lost 20 lbs. 45 in total since having Eisy. More to go this year, hopefully to my goal! ;)



As with all things, these are also still works in progress, but to not glorify the Lord and acknowledge that He has answered would just be ungrateful. 

These things that He has answered and just straight up miracles that become normalized to me as I find some other little problem to nit pick away at. I hate that I tend to the negative and the Lord is speaking to me so loudly about how maintaining anything, from weight loss, to relationships, to the house it all takes an effort that happens on the daily, and without it, it just starts to disintegrate. 

The truth is that at the beginning of this year I read John 15 every day as part of a challenge a podcast I listen to had going. This idea of "apart from me you can do NOTHING" became ingrained in my brain. I have seen what God can do when I am relying on Him, I have and am seeing Him answer and change me in ways I thought were impossible. But I still find myself grumbling and murmuring and mistrusting Him again.

I am such an Israelite.

I don't want to be like them, I want to be like Joshua or Caleb and believe God for the unseen and seemingly impossible. I want to have everything God has for me and not hinder it because of my unbelief. 
It doesn't take long for us to slip into that old pattern of thinking God has forgotten us, left us behind, or out altogether, instead of taking our thoughts captive and staying connected to Him, the only source of truth and life. It's not so much about knowing it as it is about living it, and living things takes discipline and maintenance and those boring every day choices that create our characters and in the end, our life paths.

Things have not gone as I would have planned in moving here. Not fast enough, not comfortable enough, not ....whatever it is I had thought was going to happen by obeying God and moving out here. I am lonely and Daniel works long days and has any one noticed you can clean all day but by the time your husband actually gets home, it looks like you have done nothing, nothing!

But over the past week I have realized I can't worship what is wrong with my situation. I can't dwell on all I don't have or all God isn't doing yet, what kind of faith is that? Sometimes believing what we can't see or hope for, it feels naive to me. But I so want to please God, and I want to believe Him for greater things and see Him do the things continued in my life like I have seen Him do this year. Because He did them for me, just an average girl, but so quickly it runs into my life and out of my brain and heart and here comes...oh poor me, why me, boo hoo. And of course its all very justified, don't you know? ;)

My word for this year was 
MORE

I believe God has done more and grown me more and given me more, and there is always more to have and know about Him. But I also have seen I have so much MORE to grow and learn and surrender.

I am still wavering on my word for 2016.

Believe
Thankful
Go
Dare

It's not quite clear yet what I want to focus on or perhaps what God may want to underline.

Whatever the case may be, I know God has done amazing things for me this year. The heaviness of those "desert years" have certainly lifted in many ways and I am thankful for that. Before this year comes to a close I just wanted to take the time to document all He has done


For record keeping sake I am going to do some review question and goal setting question and answers below as well, love looking back on them year to year.


HOW AM I?
What three things are challenging me life today or lately?
1) Living in Chico
2) Not feeling released by the Lord 
3) No friends

What three things am I thankful for?
1)My little family
2) Being able to work on life and goals
3) The Lord's faithfulness to me

WHAT WORKED IN 2015?
Prayer & Fasting
Trusting God when things made no sense
Working with and trusting God with weight loss and exercise
Ashton starting school
Routine

WHAT DIDN'T WORK IN 2015?
Not spending time with the Lord consistently the end of the year
Blurring boundaries
Mistrusting God's plan
Being Negative

WHAT DID I LEARN FROM WHAT WORKED?
That God is always faithful.
Having space is good for me to be who I am, protecting my introvertedness
Believing and protecting true changes God has helped me make or made in me

WHAT ARE THE BIGGEST THINGS I LEARNED FROM WHAT DIDN'T WORK?
It is imperative for me to keep pursuing God first, His heart because my perspective of my whole life gets out of whack without that.
I need certain things and I have to be willing to be clear and actually know what those things are before I am broken over something I could have easily avoided
Boundaries are very very important for me to have and maintain
Having faith is a choice, not a feeling

WHAT FIRES ME UP?
The Lord and His freedom for all of us
Truth
Creativity
Having Purpose
Doing something that matters

WHAT IS MY 2016 VISION?
{what kind of life do I want to live this year}
I want to live a life of intention
connectedness
relationships
adventure
try things our of my comfort zone or
attempt a few things that scare me:
start back up on youtube
attempt writing a book 
getting to goal weight
be more free than ever

WHERE DO I WANT TO BE WHEN I AM 80?
I want to be near my family, still serving and loving people.
Be known as someone who was intentional about knowing people and investing in them in some capacity
A grandmother and great grandmother
A Teacher
A writer
An innovator in some capacity
An artist

WHY DO I DO WHAT I DO?
Everything I do is driven by my need to not waist my life
To do something that will matter not only now but eternally

WHAT IS MY MISSION?
To live fully alive as who God made me serving Him in any way He wants to use me and be a part of Him doing amazing and extraordinary things.

IF I COULD ENVISION MY BEST YEAR YET, WHAT DOES IT LOOK LIKE?
In general:
Becoming successful at something I love and becoming connected with real great and meaningful and FUN relationships. Kids continue to thrive, grow and connect.
In specific:
Daniel or I or both of us getting full time jobs in ministry.
More family time.
Traveling 
Getting a house

2016 IS THE YEAR I....
Pay attention to what I am fearing and stop letting that make choices for me
Become more intentional in relationships
Continue on in my weight loss journey
Enjoy my kids and Daniel more
Stop complaining so much
Read at least 6 books
Join a Missional Community
Get more involved with church
Make a choice to enjoy Chico as long as God has us here

WHAT AM I SAYING NO TO IN 2016?
Being so negative
Unnecessary drama
Apathy
Fear of failure/success/trying new things
Isolation

WHAT AM I SAYING YES TO IN 2016?
Time with the Lord
Opportunity
Dreaming/Hoping Again
Trying new things








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