Negative Self Focus is Pride?


When I was walking through some of the darkest days of my depression the Lord continually was repeating to me this verse.

I didn't understand what He could possibly mean? How could someone who hated themselves need to work on considering others better than themselves?

It took me a long time to realize that even negative self focus was still all about me. That even in my self hatred there was a pride that said I should be able to do this, they should be able to save me. I could never take one ounce of responsibility if I demanded it was always someone else's fault.

It wasn't until the Lord would no longer let people come to my rescue that I started to understand. That at the bottom of my great anger and bitterness at people for not behaving the way I wished they would was my true need for Jesus to save me again.

That it was only through giving up my fight of self protection and pointing fingers that the Lord could then address my deepest need. It wasn't until I was out of the way, through this humbling, that the Lord could bring the great joy that comes through His love and the love that overflows for others because of it.

Let's trust Him to lay down the things that have helped us survive for so long but may be holding us captive and trust He is always for us, even when it hurts.

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion,then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind.Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves" Phil 2:1-3 (*sorry for the typo on the photo's verse☺️)

Ashley Jackson1 Comment