SO often we get caught up in childhood experiences and hurts and carry them from season to season, which causes us to miss out on what God is trying to show us, or where he is trying to take us on this journey of purpose. I remember growing up not knowing who I was, like many; because of the lies I was being told by Satan constantly through the abuse from my stepfather. Also seeing the hurt of my mom, from the verbal and physical abuse that she encountered repeatedly.
“How could this be happening to someone that just wants to love, and be loved?”
I didn't necessarily know my worth; as a matter of fact, I thought I was dumb and not good enough in many areas of my life, because of what I lived with from my step dad, but also from the divorce of my parents at the age of seven. Insecurities surfaced from all corners and the lack of confidence overpowered it all. Not understanding a lot that was going on as a young girl, I was constantly reminded that God was right there with me.
At the age of fourteen I laid in my bed late one night afraid and just staring up at the ceiling, felling paralyzed and defeated. In that moment I will never forget how the presence of the Lord was so evident and how my fear was lifted in that moment. I felt safe for the very first time, I felt relieved, I felt like I could just rest in that place of being okay. He was right there with me, he held me tight, he washed away my tears, my fear was gone, my anger was lifted, my hurt was lifted all in a moment.
MY FEAR WAS GONE, MY HURT WAS LIFTED!
As a teenage girl, I still had so much more to face to really know who I was and finding who I was in Christ didn’t come in that exact moment. It came many years later. It came with forgiveness, it came with more hurt, it came with more experiences, and more forgiveness, it came with eventually dying to myself and being okay with living whole for him.
I will never forget the day when I was in college, I opened my eyes and took a look around, (literally) I felt myself speaking out loud to God, and realized that I was worthy of it all, because my Lord and Savior tells me so in His Word. That day opened me up to accepting who I was and even being open to being loved.
“For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Eph. 2:10
Loving myself and dying to my fleshly being has brought me to a place of intention in my faith. It allows me to open myself up and truly live for Him. In addition, I can encourage other women to do the same, through my She Inspires ministry and through my church as the women’s leader. My purpose is to solely live for my Father---to not hold back---to walk in His complete grace and bring everyone around me along for the ride.
"We are not defined by our past experiences, we are defined by our purpose.”
My experiences have shaped me and molded me today and made me a better vessel for God, they have also allowed me to be bold for him and not be caught up in the things that don’t bare Good fruit in my life.
God wants us to live whole through him and he wants us to seek him in all things and be all in for him. He takes our hurt and pain and turns it into something good. He molds us and shapes us through our hurt. He gives us strength through our weaknesses, he loves us and comforts us when we are lonely, he brings us an overwhelming peace and joy when we are saddened, he holds us tight when we feel like giving up. There is nothing like the presence of God in a hurting season. There is nothing like laying it all at his feet and letting him have it.
He shows us our Worth through our PAIN!
Do you feel like you are letting past pain and experiences keep you from moving forward in your relationship with God? If so, it’s time for freedom and healing. Forgive yourself and forgive others, because our father forgives us. You are made with a purpose and with that you can know your worth and know you are worthy of all that God has for you.
Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill his promises to her. Luke 1:45
Nycia Emerson is the founder of She Inspires, a faith based organization that brings women from all walks of life together over Brunch, Faith, Purpose and a whole lot of Jesus. She is also the Author of the She Prays book, (available of amazon) and the owner of a Planning & Design firm.
Nycia lives in Austin, Texas and enjoys spending time with her two boys & hubby on any given day. She is also the women's leader at Mission Church of Round Rock. She enjoys gathering beautiful inspiration, entertaining friends and simply taking in the beauty of life with a smile. She also loves to inspire everyone around her and any chance she gets to share God's love, especially over a cup of coffee, brings her so much joy. Nycia believes that living what you love and loving what you do, makes life much more purposeful. She also believes that "Inspiration comes from the things that lift our spirits and allow us to love fully.
Find her at all these places:
Founder of She Inspires, Speaker & Author www.sheinspires.com
Instagram @nycia.emerson @sheinspireslovely