For years I have loved the Lord and for years I have battled my weight. They were two separate things, what did one have to do with the other. I figured God didn't much care about my body, what I ate, how I felt, or my struggle with holding more pounds than I would really like to. All of that was my business and concern, not God's.
But if you have walked with Him for long you well know that He doesn't come into our lives to sit quietly in His god corner of our lives, He comes to take over. One door at a time He gently knocks on and asks, "and what about this one? Can I be Lord in this area?"
One year I just decided to get honest with Him and rather than defend myself to Him because of the pain it had caused me year after year, I decided to ask Him to help me. I realized that no matter how much I tried I always failed because I was relying on myself and my strength, practically denying Him access to this fragile part of me. I began to realize that there was something that was rooted deeper in my heart over this issue than I had been brave enough to look at before but I knew I needed His help, and began to ask Him.
I fasted over it and asked Him to show me what was it that was holding me and to help set me free. It took work, work that I am still at to this day because old thought patterns and ways of being aren't going to just disappear most of the time. That process of getting our minds renewed takes time but I knew He cared about the hurt I carried.
I realized I had to admit that this was a sin in my case, so many times turning to food for comfort or relief, rather than Him. Food, my faithful friend. I had used it to be something really only God could be. He didn't want to shame me for it, which was all I had felt for years. That shame made me defensive and mad and want to rebel because for goodness sake, can't I just be loved for who I am. But it had nothing to do with being loved, it had to do with being free. He couldn't address or free me from anything I was not willing to lay plainly before Him and simply admit my need for Him in that area.
He began to show me deep-rooted things in my heart and this was an area that was a stronghold for me. In 2 Corinthians 4:10 it says "For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty through God by the pulling down of strongholds." So what was a stronghold?
In the commentary by Barnes Notes on the Bible, he says
"It is here beautifully used to denote the various obstacles resembling a fortress which exist, and which are designed and adapted to oppose the truth and the triumph of the Christian's cause. All those obstacles are strongly fortified. The sins of his heart are fortified by long indulgence and by the hold which they have on his soul. These strong fortifications of error and of sin are to be battered down and laid in ruins by our spiritual weapons."
We can get tied up in a pattern of sin that builds walls high around us by long indulging in something we ourselves have been defending for years. Of course it's not going to come down without a fight, but not in our strength, in His.
Barned also says,
"Conquerors and earthly warriors go into battle depending on the might of their own arm, and on the wisdom and skill which plans the battle. The Christian goes on his warfare, feeling that however well adapted the truths which he holds are to accomplish great purposes, and however wisely his plans are formed, yet that the efficacy of all depends on the agency of God. He has no hope of victory but in God. And if God does not attend him, he is sure of inevitable defeat."
This was the big one, realizing how this victory would ever come was by knowing clearly it was not me. It was not my brilliant diet or my crazy workouts I would attempt, it was not be sheer willpower or by shaming and bullying myself into it, no...by His power alone. He began to show me that I needed to be completely dependant on Him for this, daily. I had tried so many times all those other ways, what if I tired it His?
It's a battle, one we have to show up for every day. To become disengaged and disconnected from the One who brings the victory was to lose. But dependence on Him, that was where all the strength we need always is. We demolish our strongholds through Spiritual weapons and those weapons are only found in Him. Can we trust Him and learn how to use them, even in this area?
Check out the video below for more...
Next week: Dealing with our minds when it comes to our weight issues...