My Story with God....Part 1

10:22 AM

So blogs can be funny things...
for me, I started this blog having no clue where it would go or what it would become.
Let's be honest, I still have no clue.
The longer I blog, and the more I go through, and even though it may sound cliche' I really want it to be organic
I have blogged in some form since 2004, I think this blog has now been the longest I have ever blogged at one domain however.  I was blogging all my personal thoughts on one blog and anything crafty or beauty or the like on this one. It was late last year that I decided to stop being so scared and just write whatever came into my head or heart.

You see, I can be a bit of an intense person. I like to call it passionate, but I fear others may see it as a bit much. I have lived much of my life viewing myself through the proverbial "they" and "their" eyes...and when I speak to myself through "their" mouths, they have nothing very nice to say about my "passion". 

If you have ever read Captivating by John and Staci Eldredge this concept is one of the main points in the book. That we, as women, often feel we are TOO much, or not enough, or maybe a combination of both.

Sweet light

I have always felt swung to either one side or the other at any particular time, but I am trying to allow myself some balance, some truth.

At first this blog was about escaping for me, about going into a world that no one else I knew had a part in. I found quickly the support from a community that had yet to judge me, that had yet to find me lacking or a bit over the top. I had a strict blogging schedule and I reveled in the feedback and affirmation I got from my blogging friends. At least I mattered a smidgen in this world, if not the real world.

I said nothing of my faith, what I thought about God, my journey, because it was so much easier not to. To pretend that He wasn't or hasn't been the BIGGEST part of my life for all of my life. 

Now that I have combined them I have had a few people email me about what I believe, and I will link to a statement of faith in my side bar soon from my home church, but this is my story in my relationship with my Jesus.

These are the words that part of me are scared to write because they mean the most to me.
Like the Anna Nalick song says

"And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loudAnd I know that you'll use them, however you want to"

but here is my story anyways, in part.

{this post ended up way too long for any one persons attention span so I broke it into 3 parts.
Part 2 will be up next...}

My younger years with God...

I basically grew up with God.
My parents still attend the church where my mom brought me when I was only months old.
My parents put us in the Christian school that was part of the church.
I started there and I graduated from there.

But when you grow up with God, it can sometimes feel like math, or English, or some other subject that you learn about but also doesn't really change your life, you just know about it.

I knew I loved God, but I didn't really know Him...even with all the education and information about someone, you can still only know about them and not really know them.
{Like the President or a celebrity or something}

I think I began to really to get to know Him when I was about 14.
That is when I started praying regularly and learning more about Him from His word.  I got a journal and began writing my prayers and have been filling the pages of them ever since. 

Winter magic - great photo

At first, it was all about a guy I had a crush on. About how "did you see the way He looked at me Lord" and lots of "if you could just let him talk to me" or "maybe we will get married, if it's your will".
 I actually love this!
That this is how I started my relationship with the God of the universe and it reflects completely how well He knew me. He knew this was of the utmost importance to me, and all that I knew then and sometimes all that I know now, is that He still cares about things that others might see as trivial or meaningless, because they matter to me...and He loves me.

This is how we started talking.

{to be continued...}

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9 Thank you for your thoughts

  1. This is so beautiful. Never fear what "others" think of you because He always loves you and that is the only thing that is important. Love yourself, you are a beauty!

  2. I stumbled across your blog looking for hair-do ideas and started following it a few months ago. I love the additions you're making to your blog though bringing it more personal. I'm looking forward to reading your posts on the bible study too. And Captivating - LOVE this book!!! This completely changed my heart and my view of myself and helped me to understand how God sees me. I wish I could give this book to everyone I know and that they'd get from it even a fraction of what I did!

  3. I love your honesty. SUCH a beautiful story. Cant wait to read more...

  4. I'll be honest and say that while I am consistent in the blogosphere, I'm sporadic. Your blog is one that I read sporadically, but I have come to realize that God leads me here, because I am always encouraged.. or the Holy Spirit teaches me something.

    We are very similar, your words often mimic cries of my heart. So THANK YOU for being honest and vulnerable.

  5. That is such a great story and thank you for sharing it. <3

  6. I think the most awesome thing about this post is that that song by Anna Nalick was on my heart as I was blogging yesterday also so I looked it up and watched it and several of her other videos on youtube. I feel yah girl!

  7. YES. this is beautiful. i'm so proud of you for sharing your story. it may plant 'mustard seeds' that you never even realized! :)

  8. This is a beautiful blog! I have an old friend who went to Dublin, Ireland for YWAM this past year for seven months and he LOVED it. He talked about it nonstop. I hope to one day also be apart of something so significant. Thank you for sharing your testimony.
    Have a blessed day!

  9. Hello Ashley I found your blog through a pin about lipsticks of all things and found something much deeper. :) I love the way God works. I think it is fantastic that you are bringing God front and center in your life and your blog. I believe it has been something he has wanted you to do for awhile and I think you will find great rewards in your obedience. I too grew up in church from a baby and your words are an echo of my life. I had the same experience as well and many of the same thoughts. We can be so blessed but take it forgranted. I am not sure how the rest of your story goes but I was a bit slower getting to know God. But I do know that once I got to know him it has been the most exciting and rewarding adventure anyone could have. He continues to surprise me everyday and I cant get enough. Thank you so much for sharing your story and I cant wait to see future posts. May God continue to give you strenghth and wisdom follow his plan for you. You are an inspiration!


Thanks so much for stopping by! Please leave your comments and looking forward to getting to know you!!



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