5 Reasons Why Blogging Shouldn't Feel Like Highschool (but sometimes does) RERUN

3:00 PM

Today for Blogging Positivity Week 
we're remembering how to actually 
in the blogging world.

Ashley at After Nine to Five wrote THIS great post with 5 ways to do that!
Check it out and participate as well if you would like!

I would like to share with you a post I wrote a while back called

"5 Reasons Why Blogging Shouldn't Feel Like High school 
(but sometimes does)"

{posted originally 4/11/2011, so time for a reminder for myself}


I have been reading a few of your posts lately about 
feeling inadequate
 in the blogging world.
I, too, have felt this way as there is always someone bigger and better to
compare ourselves 
to but this post is just to encourage you to
keep doing your thing and being you!! 
{This is almost more of a pep talk to myself as well!}

1) You're not sportin' designer: 
Listen, in highschool it was important to look cool and I know I felt looked down on because I wore the cheap clothes and shoes (you know, the ones your parents could actually afford) and not designer. This can translate into blogging, you have seen some blogs out there that just blow away design and might have paid bucko bucks for their look. Now there is nothing wrong with having money, or an awesome look, but don't you go feeling bad about yours if you don't have it. Get what you can afford and make it work for you!

2) You feel like you're not in the cool clique:
In high school groups are well defined. You were either in one, or you weren't, and usually you weren't asked to join in if you didn't already belong to one. This led to many hurt feelings and low self esteems. Believe me, I wasn't in any cool clique but I am sure I was in some kind of group.
You may have experienced this in blogging, I hope not much. I know sometimes we imagine people to be exclusive more than they really are. Sometimes we are already rejected in our minds before we are ever rejected in reality. 
This is not high school and you have something valuable to add to every community. What I have decided is that I am not going to exclude anyone and I am going to assume everyone likes me and wants to me my friend until they tell me otherwise. Don't be a self fulfilling propechy in that, you tell yourself no one will like you before you ever give them a chance to decide. People will like you and your blog, because you have something of quality to offer. Believe that.
(This can be for real life too!)

3) You say, "I'll never be as ________ as her"
We all compare. I want to be as thin, beautiful, great at homemaking, great at business, great at exercise....FILL IN THE BLANK. We want to be a better version of ourselves, sure, but how does the quote go? 

"Be a first class version of yourself, not a second class version of someone else." 

We all look to big bloggers to see how they do things, how we can emulate them etc. But take those things that you are learning and put it back into making you a better you and your blog more of a refection of who you are. You don't have to be "so and so", you do have to be you, however. So try not to compare! Today you might have dingy photos or 20 followers, but that is today..we have nothing but time to get better and keep trying! Another good quote "How you FEEL today, is not WHO YOU ARE!"

4) The "cool kids" are intimidating
When I first started blogging I felt like a fraud, I still do sometimes. I thought people would be annoyed with me if I commented on their blog, or if I asked them questions, etc. I have found the blogging community, in contrast, so amazingly helpful and supportive. Usually those "cook kids" or "big bloggers" don't have such a "I am so much better than you" mentality that we might think. They were where you were at one point, they know what it is like. Don't be intimidated by them, see them as your teachers and resources! Reach out to them if they are extra intimidating to you. 
A personal example for me, one blogger seemed "untouchable" too cool for me, so many followers, so beautiful, etc etc. I started getting an attitude towards her. I made myself start commenting on her blog, even asked advice etc. Now I think of her more as a friend and she has been so helpful to me and not "better than me mentality" at all!

5) Avoid the mean kids
Sometimes there are just bullies, people who want to make you feel small, in high school, in life, in blogging. There are those people everywhere, and we all know what insecurity can manifest as, usually this kind of attitude. Don't let it change you or make you question what you do or yourself, just avoid these kinda people. People are going to be this way sometimes, and there is not much we can do about it! Haters gonna hate yall. 
Just do you, and keep doing it well!

Have you experienced any of these feelings? Share and let me know how you dealt with it. If I get some great ones I will share them so we can all learn and be encouraged!

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5 Thank you for your thoughts

  1. Just heard about blogging positivity week today, and I love this idea! Such a great post, Ashely, as always! <3

  2. I guess I can relate best to the not feeling as cool as everyone else one...I always feel like people are more creative and cool than me, and seriously, I have never seen so many gorgeous people as in blogland!! But I just try to tell myself that I am here to have fun and meet the people that want to meet me...and that makes me feel better!! ;)

  3. I actually just blogged a bit about this today. I am brand new at this blogging thing, and sometimes feel inadequate. Thanks for the great advice. You are always a pleasure to read! :) ~S

  4. Thanks so much for this post! I love it. I have a tendency to compare myself all the time. I was the kid that was picked on all the time, so never felt good enough. As an adult, I still sometimes find myself feeling that way. So many awesome bloggers out there with amazing hearts, but still I look at them and think how I could never do a "what I wore" post unless someone wanted to see me in the same jeans and t-shirt week in and week out 'cause we don't have a "fashion budget". I don't have an "awesome hairstyle budget". I don't have a "let me buy everything I love on etsy budget". I also don't have 50 million followers (but I'm totally ok with that). Anyway, it is so easy to get caught up in the comparisons and have this image of the cliques that exist. I have to remind myself that I'm every bit as acceptable and loving as these people I admire. I think the onus is on me to step out of my shell and try to get to know people better, even if I think I don't fit in. As for the "mean kids" - I haven't experienced it myself, but I've seen it in action. I decided it's not my place to step in if it's not my business. I can pray for the people involved and maybe say a kind word to the one being "picked on". I won't hang with the mean kids - but I won't make an issue of it either. If people like me, they like me. If they don't, that's fine. Ok...enough. Great post!


Thanks so much for stopping by! Please leave your comments and looking forward to getting to know you!!



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