Update on me…

2:54 PM

I wanted to give you all a little update on me and how I am feeling these days. You guys have been so supportive and encouraging, again I can’t thank you enough. I also thank you for the way you have shared with me your own struggles and some of you have even opened up also to your readers, thank you for being brave.

{If you have missed what in the world I am talking about you can check out my personal button there in the sidebar}

Nothing much in my circumstance have changed, but my mind set has already began to be so much different. Going to the psychiatrist, and getting help was huge for me. We only talked for an hour, but I was finally validated in knowing that things with me were not as they should be. Something was in fact, wrong.

I was diagnosed by her for moderate to severe anxiety and depression. She explained to me that my body was dealing with so much stress that my brain could no longer process it and do its job to balance me out. She also told me I was living either at base level or in depression but rarely above. That made so much sense to me.
She did prescribe medication for me and because many good and trusted friends have also dealt with these issues I was not opposed to the idea. So I have been on them for about 2 weeks, and let me tell you they are making a world of difference for me already.

I feel, “normal”, and I don’t have to try. My mind is not constantly racing with how much I loath myself or why I am not a worthy person. I don’t snap on my husband for insignificant details. It’s so odd to say it, feel it, and see a difference so quickly, but I am remembering what its like to not feel so out of control, to feel calm, peaceful, restful.

I know this is probably hard to understand if you haven’t been in my shoes, but I know many of you have. All I can say is that I am feeling more like myself than I have in a long time. My creativity seems to be emerging again, I have more energy to play with my son and clean my house, I feel like the Lord is fighting for me as I regain my strength and slowly reminding me of who I am.

In just a matter of weeks everything will be changing for me, so although my days are still hard in their monotony, I know the change is on its way, and that makes a world of difference for me.

Hold on, your hope is on its way too.

Thank you to everyone who is joining in on Heart Therapy and sharing your stories as well.


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26 Thank you for your thoughts

  1. Aw, I'm so glad things are looking up for you. Depression is such a hard struggle and I'm glad, like you said, your mind set is starting to change. Lovely post and I'm sending positive happy thoughts your way! :)

  2. Yay! It's great to hear that things are improving for you, I'm sure it's a huge relief. :)

  3. I only found your blog a few weeks ago, but I went back and read your previous posts regarding depression. Its actually really encouraging to see someone so fabulous in the blogging world (and real one too) be honest about what's going on. I was diagnosed with this exact same thing in April. I won't go into detail here on your post, but the things you have expressed are so similar to what I was and am still battling. It was like reading my own words. Thank you for allowing us in your life in such a personal way. I really enjoyed linking up for Heart Therapy. I look forward to your next post and I'm so excited to have met another sister in Christ.

  4. I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling better!:)

  5. I'm so happy you're feeling better! The best is yet come!!

  6. I've been going through counseling for some anxiety that I've had since march. It feels amazing to talk to someone who is neutral and can help you overcome obstacles. I'm glad that things are looking up for you and i'll keep you in my prayers! :-)

  7. I'm so proud of you dear friend...for speaking up, for taking charge of your life, getting help and encouraging others!! You are an inspiration girlie!! :)

  8. I'm so glad to hear that you're feeling 'normal' again. Hang in there!

  9. You are a brave person! I am so glad you took the initiative cuz depression is a baaaad place to dwell...

  10. I'm SO glad you are feeling better! I noticed a difference right away too so I'm glad that you are able to notice a change and be encouraged. Just keep talking to your therapist and working with her and you will be fine!

    Also, I think I was out of town for the first round of Heart Therapy. Could you email me the first post? Not the post where you introduced it but the first one for people to participate in. kgm05fsu@gmail.com

    Thanks! xoxo

  11. I'm so happy for you that you have embraced help. I just found you in blogland, and already you have captured my heart. I hope you continue on your journey of healing.

  12. Sweet friend, I'm so happy to hear that things are going better for you. Keep it up!

  13. So happy to hear you are feeling alive and renewed again!! My husband has struggled with extreme anxiety and depression off and on for many years...I experienced his struggles for the first time this spring. I'm so glad you were able to find the help that you needed...praying for you today!! Love your blog, lady!

  14. Wow, that is so hard, but it is so great that you are getting what you need! I bet it feels great to feel like yourself again!

  15. appreciate your honesty.

    I'm one of your newest followers btw.
    I saw you on MRS. CASEY LEIGH'S blog.

    Blessings in your recovery.


  16. Girl, what an INSPIRATION you are. Good for you for moving forward, recognizing you deserve to live the best life you possibly can. You are so brave to put this out there. Truly, thank you for being so honest.

    Happy Thursday to you!

  17. So glad you are feeling better girl! If you don't mind me asking, what medications are you taking? I am thinking that I am going to have to switch mine {yet again} because I am feeling a little worse than before. I tried to email this question to you because I know it's personal, but I couldn't get the email button to work. Anyways....if you want, you can email me at: chiannerenee@aol.com. Thanks so much girl!

  18. thanks for sharing, it's so so good for us to share our stories, that is what we have them for, to share with others...we are called to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn, --and our stories ARE for others. This is what I've learned along the way...they need us to share. Humility is the most beautiful characteristic, it's Jesus' highest quality...
    thanks again for sharing!

  19. I love how TRANSPARENT you are! I did a post today on the need for transparency within the blogging community...and with our relationships in general. We have so much that we go through, so many lessons we have learned, so much growth that needs to be shared with others. We need to be encouraging and motivating...to be kind and loving....and you my dear....are all of those things. :) I love how real you are. It's B-E-A-UTIFUL!

  20. Ashley-
    I was just talking to B about this. I too know that something isn't right with all the feelings, frustrations, and anxiety I feel when it comes to my otherwise wonderful life.
    I'm glad you have met with someone who can help you through this whole situation. Just know that I am thinking about you often, and just know that things will take a turn for the better... for the both of us.
    - Brooke Anna

  21. New to your blog… So glad I found you. I needed to hear this right now. Thanks for being so open ;)

  22. This makes me oh so happy to read and hear, Ashley! Thank YOU for being so brave and sharing your story with each of us...you are helping so many! I imagine even just being able to talk to someone about things must help, but then to get feedback that helps you better understand why you were feel as you were and to then be able to do things to help it is wonderful! So happy to with your progress so far and thank you for the update! I hope you have a relaxing and fun-filled weekend ahead!

    Liesl :)

  23. I just started following your blog (which I love btw!) and I just wanted to say thanks for being so open.
    I've been there.
    Right now I'm feeling good-better-but it's been a struggle and it's SO important you get the help you need (which you are!). You WILL be okay.
    Thanks for sharing and know that you are not alone, ever.


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