things have been unsettled for me recently. Something felt...wrong...and I wasn't sure why. I found myself looking at every area of my life trying to figure out what it was. I had a "quiet day" on Thursday and I went for a pretty long walk around a lake nearby where I live. I really felt like God wanted me to read "Pursuit of God again", so I did that when I got home. I only got to the third chapter before I got it. There is a throne in my heart where things are going to continually fight for reign and I get to chose who sits there. I think latley I had myself on that throne. I was more worried about what God could do for me and how he could fix things and make me feel better then just loving Him, because I do, and He deserves it, and thats enough. He doesn't love me because I can do things for him, He just loves me, and I don't want to love him for His blessings or the things I feel He can make better for me or give me the happiness or security I am looking for. This was something I already knew, but God just reminded me and maybe its jsut coincidence but things seem 100% better since I repented and put him back on, ya know? Things are changing. I am like Levi in the 12 tribes, God is my portion, and although to begin it seems like I am getting the short end of the stick there is nothing I really want more...He is more then enough. God is my home...no matter where I am. Thats all for now, in a mass of jumbled confusion...ha, at least it makes sense to me.
, by Ashley Jackson